The Method Actor's Views of Cancer 26th July

Pete's Points

I wonder how many people who are at home while they are undergoing treatment watch the "idiot box" from time to time as a way of either getting access to the news, seeing a movie (however old) or just finding something that will send them to sleep?

If you happen to be watching movies, have you noticed how many shows actually have at least one character in it who has cancer? The very volume seems to be more closely aligned with reality than ANY of the so called reality TV shows.

I mean have you ever seen anyone on "Survivor" who has cancer?

More to the point have you ever seen a show where an episode of "Survivor" actually features only people who have fought with the beast and won! Now THAT would be a show worth watching.

When I was in remission seeing so many people with cancer did not worry me too much, but now that I am back in treatment for a recurrence I seem to have a higher level of sensitivity to seeing and hearing the 'cancer' word everywhere.

I find it rather difficult to be surrounded by people who seem to be dying gracefully or otherwise from one form of cancer or another. I want to turn the silly thing off, but somehow my attention is drawn to the actor who has the role of the cancer victim.

I keep wondering if there is something I can learn from his or her performance? I mean where else are you going to find 'role models' who can present for your information ways in which to handle yourself when you have what is most likely a terminal illness?

You can I suppose, watch for the occasional hint of how others are coping by watching superstars like Kylie and Pavarotti. Alternately you can read the exciting story by that multiple winner of the Tour de France about how he overcame his cancer.

However I suspect that there is nothing like a bit of method acting by some of the world's most famous actors to set the stage (so to speak) about the range of options we have in our own behaviour when we go through the various stages of our own adventures with this disease.

I was particularly taken with performances that highlight how unselfishly we can mask our pain and our despair and think only of others.

I have no idea how to be that brave. I obviously need practice.

I know that in the depths of chemo therapy when it would be considered animal cruelty to say, "I feel as sick as a dog," I rarely have time to think about others. My entire universe seems to consist of fighting my body for some self control so that I do not make a mess over the clean bed or some other part of the house.

I also find it difficult to be considerate at a time when my insides are churning in pain or I am unable to breathe and simply panic.

My sense of humor which I think is at least reasonable, most of the time, seems to disappear into despair when I am so out of it on various nasty drugs that all I can think of is whether I wil actually survive the treatment much less the cancer.

Still you have to retain that sense of humour especially In the middle of having nursing staff searching in vain for a vein.

Watching Robin Williams as Patch Adams was simply good for the soul.

Having someone tell me about Dr Kubler Ross and her 5 stages of bereavement is simply not going to be as effective as actually watching actors go through the various stages and reach that wonderful stage of "acceptance" that is often portrayed as people who have an out of body experience and float off to the light to be with their deceased loved ones.

I keep hoping that my end will be that pleasant as those that I see on the tube.

Menwhile I keep learning how a good method actor handles the role and try to practice what I have learnt daily. Alas, I am finding that I am not really that good an actor.

Still, practice makes perfect - all I need is the time to get it right on the day!