July 6th Update

Started to feel the effects of the radio therapy yesterday, I think.

Feeling tired and listless and it seems that the walls of the capillaries in the nasal areas have been affected to the point where a nose bleed is becoming a regular event. Not pleasant - something that I will have to discuss with the medical people to see what if anything they can do about it.

I suspect the answer will be something inane like "when you can't breathe through your nose DO NOT BLOW! Just open your mouth and hope for the best." Then again maybe not!

Driving to the hospital yesterday was an interesting experience. As I was pulling into the parking lot I suddenly found that the vision in one eye was affected to the point that by the time I had parked the car the visual acuity of that eye was severely impaired.

When I asked about this in the unit I was told that the drug that they are giving me to help with nausea has a nasty side effect - if you have migrane headaches then they can tend to increase the frequency. Terrific!

One of the issues that I have discovered along the way is that the loss of visual acuity is brought on by migrane headaches that somehow do something to the nerves and blood vessels in the eye and can result in a temporary distortion and/or loss of vision.

So much for continuing to drive to the hospital or indeed anywhere else for the time being!

I am making arrangements for community transport to start taking me to the hospital and picking me up. They will commence on the 10th of this month and are sending me a package of information on what I have to do etc.

Wonderful! Another piece of independence coming just to a temporary end (I hope).

I think that one of the things that is perhaps worse than anything else is to become dependent on others. The sense of helplessness as one function after another either ceases to be viable or is so unreliable that it would be sheer folly to expose both myself and others to the possibility of something going wrong.

The good things yesterday:

1. finally found a magazine in the waiting room that did not date back to 2004, but was actually something published in 2006. If you are a 'regular' in waiting rooms the diet of fresh reading matter is something that I suspect medical people rely on to keep the patients regular and on time. After all, if you arrive early there is simply nothing to DO anymore unless you also want to burden yourself with additional stuff that you take to the appointment - like a book or if you are more modern I suppose an iPod or something similar
2. met with the dietician who kindly went through all of the information in a pamphlet letting me know the basics of the main food groups (what a surprise) and provided some information about worst case scenario planning in case all of my ability to swallow suddenly closed off. She actually approved my strategy of bulking up now in case I need the extra fat-energy conversion later. So with an eye on the balance between eating too much and of the wrong things so that the reflux is not initiated I can once again eat lots of protein. I feel like a bear getting ready to hibernate for the winter. Alas the problem is that it is already winter and with the listlessness that seems to be coming as a companion of the radio therapy motivation to "eat and be merry for tomorrow you diet" is a little lacking. Still - came home and went into the kitchen to make enough food to last for a few days. Have discovered the joys of new Pyrex dishes that have plastic instead of glass lids. These form exceptional cooking and storage container options and are eminently stackable. So the fridge at present contains food for days. I hope that my partner is grateful for the fact that she can come home from work and have a restaurant like choice of foods that are available straight from fridge to microwave to table.
3. Managed to communicate with people in spite of "the" vocal chord starting to give signs of overuse syndrome.
4. Asked about the costs of the community transport and discovered that it is cheaper than either the cost of the petrol or the cost of public transport! Now THAT is a community service! Mind you they did ask intrusive questions like - "are you a pensioner?" Then when I answered in the negative they persisted by asking questions about any concession cards. Then again, they did respect my rights by also asking whether I would be OK about the information I provided going into their computer system. Of course there is an interesting question which I did NOT want to explore - namely what would have happened to my request for the transport if I had responded in the negative?

Well that's about all I feel like saying today about my health! If anyone wants to see my comments on other matters relating to broader issues they will simply have to catch up with my other Blogs that are broader based.

Waking up this morning did produce ONE good thing though - I can go to the hospital for treatment today wearing the sweatshirt I got in 1998 when France last won the World Cup and chant (well OK just whisper) "La France en final" as I suspect millions of others are doing in between watching the Tour de France, work or enjoying the benefits of the European summer.

For those of my avid readers who follow the Italians, I reiterate - "La France en final!"

Unfortunately I have too many colleagues who support the Italians to make more disparaging remarks about the effectiveness of their 'diving' techniques!