Gear packed along with our (read my)anxiety, we arrived at the hospice.
If there was paperwork, I was not aware of it, I was only able to take in "my room."
This is at the end of a long corridor and (I was to learn later on)one of the later additions to the place, thanks to generous donations that helped to convert a four bed ward into four separate private rooms.
What a room!
It is equipped with mod cons that I do not have at home. Just think, a hospital bed that can be raised or lowered in three places, a flat screen TV a HUGE en-suite with every aid to the infirm you can imagine, a bar fridge and of course cupboard space for your clothes WITH coat hangers, a reading light, and, wonder of wonders, a balcony that you can reach via your own sliding door, equipped with two metal garden chairs and a matching table.
Marvellous!
What people should know is that the location of the place is in itself a miracle of sorts. Set on just a small part of the lake that is the heart of Canberra, the view from "my room" is spectacular. A part of the lake foreshore with two black swans from Western Australia majestically gliding on the surface, seemingly the owners of all they can survey until they have to feed. It is at this time that they come close to the shoreline and bob their long necks underwater until there remains only the view of their nether portions, with two webbed feet scrabbling comically for balance and depth.
Other denizens of this vista, include ducks and their cute little ducklings, magpies that swoop on a crow that seems to have passed into their territory, rabbits everywhere along the banks, with at least four burrows immediately identifiable and at least three or four sets of loving pigeons.
The birds that really draw your attention though are superb wrens and some finches where the male of the species is coloured red around the head and neck. There is more wildlife and some cattle wandering around, but frankly, this is all I could see and name in the brief moments I had after arrival.
We settled in.
My gear was unpacked and stored in the cupboard and the bedside set of drawers I seem to have overlooked in my inventory above. The medicines that were brought from home were strategically placed within easy reach and once again it was explained to me what was where. The controls for the bed, TV and other things were explored until I was familiar with them and then my loved one and I entered what I will refer to here as the "separation and departure phase" of arrival at the hospice. We hugged to ensure that we knew what we would be missing (each other in case anyone needs a hint) and said our good-byes. This was made a unique situation by the fact that for the first time in my life I honestly think I understand the meaning of that American phrase "missing you already."
Leanne decided to delay her departure for another day just to see how I would manage without her.
Leanne left and my adventure, my sojourn commenced, albeit with the proviso that I would see her again the next day.
None of my pre-planning or even simply thinking about what it would be like to stay at the hospice prepared me for what was to come next.
"But that's another story" as the barman said in "Irma la Douce."
Friday, September 19, 2008
Thursday, September 18, 2008
A Retrospective - Preparation for the big move
Having finally found the computer terminal in the hospice, learnt to log on, recall my password for the blog etc with great difficulty, through a fog bank of induced memory loss, I stared at the key board, formerly my friend, now my challenge, and then started to compose, this humble and meagre offering.
It attempts to be a little "retrospective", exploring feelings 'views' and incidents or events about coming to and staying in the hospice - later contributions will try and explore snapshots of life in the hospice ......
Coming to a hospice in a palliative care setting is quite a traumatic thing to do. At least it was for us.
Days of mental and physical preparation are required and both Leanne and I had work to do.
Alas I did not want to go so I am afraid that at the time my condition was such that I could well call upon it to explain why I was work shy. My contribution was negligible and really lacking any substance.
Miracle worker that she is, Leanne was able to handle the decision making and associated workload with aplomb while I gibbered with fear at even the prospect of being severed from my safety lines, the familiarity of our home, the incredible levels of personal care provided by Leanne and the unfamiliarity with the hospice settings and its facilities for caring for me and my needs.
Leanne, bless her heart, prepared a "book" for the staff at the hospice outlining my personal and medical needs accompanied by a list of the medication to be taken along with information on when it needed to be taken (for example, if there was a time dependency for a given medicine or a need for one medication to be taken with another so that the impact and efficacy of both were to be enhanced)
All in all a brilliant effort and one to be considered by others.
In the lead up to arrival at the hospice much time was spent, this time by both of us, sharing our misgivings and stating them out loud. There was also time for reflection about the real need for Leanne to have real "Time Out".
We discussed the workload she had shouldered because of my illness and our relationship, a workload that it would now take shifts of nursing staff along with other allied health professionals and shifts of volunteers to undertake.
It was in truth as plain as the nose on my face that the rest was required and nothing my selfish brain could invent about MY needs could even start to compete for attention.
Finally dates were picked, arrangements finalised and it was off to my new 'home' for two weeks.
Leanne was I think in a dreadful state, largely due I feel to my selfish fears and anxieties about the new circumstances and her other real needs to visit with her family and have 'time out'. For this I apologise. I hope I have learnt my lesson and will do my utmost to resolve issues like thiss early. I am afraid I can't promise not to be selfish, the bet I think I can do is to recognise when I am selfish and then deal with it - quickly.
I can only suggest to others, based on my experience to do the exploration and sharing of feelings. These were great value and very useful.
It attempts to be a little "retrospective", exploring feelings 'views' and incidents or events about coming to and staying in the hospice - later contributions will try and explore snapshots of life in the hospice ......
Coming to a hospice in a palliative care setting is quite a traumatic thing to do. At least it was for us.
Days of mental and physical preparation are required and both Leanne and I had work to do.
Alas I did not want to go so I am afraid that at the time my condition was such that I could well call upon it to explain why I was work shy. My contribution was negligible and really lacking any substance.
Miracle worker that she is, Leanne was able to handle the decision making and associated workload with aplomb while I gibbered with fear at even the prospect of being severed from my safety lines, the familiarity of our home, the incredible levels of personal care provided by Leanne and the unfamiliarity with the hospice settings and its facilities for caring for me and my needs.
Leanne, bless her heart, prepared a "book" for the staff at the hospice outlining my personal and medical needs accompanied by a list of the medication to be taken along with information on when it needed to be taken (for example, if there was a time dependency for a given medicine or a need for one medication to be taken with another so that the impact and efficacy of both were to be enhanced)
All in all a brilliant effort and one to be considered by others.
In the lead up to arrival at the hospice much time was spent, this time by both of us, sharing our misgivings and stating them out loud. There was also time for reflection about the real need for Leanne to have real "Time Out".
We discussed the workload she had shouldered because of my illness and our relationship, a workload that it would now take shifts of nursing staff along with other allied health professionals and shifts of volunteers to undertake.
It was in truth as plain as the nose on my face that the rest was required and nothing my selfish brain could invent about MY needs could even start to compete for attention.
Finally dates were picked, arrangements finalised and it was off to my new 'home' for two weeks.
Leanne was I think in a dreadful state, largely due I feel to my selfish fears and anxieties about the new circumstances and her other real needs to visit with her family and have 'time out'. For this I apologise. I hope I have learnt my lesson and will do my utmost to resolve issues like thiss early. I am afraid I can't promise not to be selfish, the bet I think I can do is to recognise when I am selfish and then deal with it - quickly.
I can only suggest to others, based on my experience to do the exploration and sharing of feelings. These were great value and very useful.
Funeral advice
Folks,
Just a quick note.
I am led to understand that the funeral of Leanne's father will be on Tuesday next, so if you wish to have your condolences conveyed to the family, the window of opportunity is tight.
It is my expectation at this point that Leanne would wish to have more time out after the funeral and I have some ideas about how long this might be, however they are my ideas and so need her input. I have asked the hospice administration if they could extend my stay and this request will no doubt be passed up the line to wherever decisions are made. I have also told the administrator that Leanne is likely to come back to Canberra to get clothes to wear for the funeral so there may be an opportunity for a face to face discussion to take place. I expects that this is likely to happen on the week-end.
Just a quick note.
I am led to understand that the funeral of Leanne's father will be on Tuesday next, so if you wish to have your condolences conveyed to the family, the window of opportunity is tight.
It is my expectation at this point that Leanne would wish to have more time out after the funeral and I have some ideas about how long this might be, however they are my ideas and so need her input. I have asked the hospice administration if they could extend my stay and this request will no doubt be passed up the line to wherever decisions are made. I have also told the administrator that Leanne is likely to come back to Canberra to get clothes to wear for the funeral so there may be an opportunity for a face to face discussion to take place. I expects that this is likely to happen on the week-end.
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