It's been a while since I've written this blog and this is because I have been writing to Pete's Pages. However there comes a time for updating everything and this is the time for updating this blog.

Over the last month or so I've been experiencing nausea more regularly than not and as a result I have been left virtually incapacitated in bed filled up with anti-nausea drugs which seem to have very little effect on some occasions. On the other hand on the days when I do not have nausea, the day is filled with joy. I seem to have the energy to do virtually anything, provided of course that it is within my physical boundaries.

I've been spending a lot of time with Leanne watching videos and reading books. Thanks to my recent birthday I have received gifts of videos and books which enable us to fill up our time in a constructive fashion. Alas there is no predictability to the sessions of nausea and so I treat each day as it comes and dread each night as it comes. Nights seem to be worse than the days. I'm not sure why this is, perhaps it's a fear of the dark and of the dreams that come and revolve within it.

I wonder if others find it more difficult to get through their nights than their days? I wonder if others find it difficult to differentiate between the dream state that they are in and reality? Sometimes in the middle of the dark and in the middle of a terrifying dream there is confusion between what is real and what is not.

As the waking state increases over the sleeping state there is an ability to differentiate more usefully between the two states, but at that moment in time when the sleep state prevails, getting to grips with what is real and what is not can be a difficult task.

I don't know what that would be like for most of you, but I do know that it is very difficult for me.

As for the nausea what do you do about it when you have it? I think back to the time when I was on a very large boat coming to Australia from Rotterdam. I was a small child at the time so that it seemed to be big. For the first few days as we sailed down the coast of Europe and then Africa until we reached Cape Town I was a sick little puppy. Somehow, after we left Cape Town I acquired my sea legs, then the rolling of the waves no longer seemed to do any harm. indeed I seem to recall that while most of the other passengers were laid up in their beds as we encountered the rolling swells between the Atlantic and Indian oceans a companion and I were sliding on the carpets like surfboards up and down the dining area that was empty except for the two of us. Leading up to that time though, I seem to recall being on my bunk, face up, holding my insides and feeling the roiling and churning of every scrap of liquid and solid than was in there.

Let me assure you that this is not a pleasant feeling and it is a feeling that you want to lose in a big hurry.

What I am experiencing these days is very similar to that early experience. I keep hoping for Cape Town to arrive so that I can start to feel well everyday rather than the opposite.