Barium Swallow

Had the Barium Swallow today - a most interesting experience!

If the sneaky looks I was able to take while being scanned bear any resemblance to what the doctors will say when they present their report then I have a feeling I am not just heading for the toilet I may be becoming more like a toilet than I would wish!

There seems to be a kink in the remnant oesophagus where it joins the remnant stomach and this MAY explain why I have been having difficulties swallowing.

The thought that my insides may look and function like an S bend in a toilet may cause all of you momentary hysterical laughter, but it does nothing for me I can assure you!

Indeed I have to say that in the past I have always been a great supporter of the notion that you are what you eat - but of course if you eat nothing then . . .

I mean, COME ON, what did I ever do to deserve ending up with my insides resembling an S bend?

Er. . . . before you all rush into print to tell me the answer to that rhetorical question - the real question is whether this is the cause of the main problem or not and we will only find that out when the good doctor goes down my throat next week with the 'snake' (gastroscopy) to have a look and take samples of what he finds.

Yes yes, I know, you all got a belly laugh out of that too - after all what else would you expect to find in an S bend?

Who actually writes my lines? I need to have a talk to the fellow - he certainly seems to need a good talking to.

So for those of you who have always known that I might end up in the sewer now is the time to get your laughs - ha ha, HEE HEE or whatever!

Get it over with and just wish me luck with the plumber. The last thing I need is to have burst pipe down there - that would be REALLY messy!

I am now going to have a long chat with my script writer - I will have to straighten him out

(Oh no! Now I am doing it!)